I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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