i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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