I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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