listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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