you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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