I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
