Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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