it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
