you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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