cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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