I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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