Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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