I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
