VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
