if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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