she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
