We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
