Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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