Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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