Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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