508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
