There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
