sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
