Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
