ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
