she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
