real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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