are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
