Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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