Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
