It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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