Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Randomize
