Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
