windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
