We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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