Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
