Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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