you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
