Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
