I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
