I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
