question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
