i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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