I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
