what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
