He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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