whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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