Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
