Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
