Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
