DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
