butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I have already put on my inside pants.
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