So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I checked into jail on foursquare
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
